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Co-Authored-By: Ivor Barhansky <lopar@noreply.lopar.us>
Co-Committed-By: Ivor Barhansky <lopar@noreply.lopar.us>
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<p>&gt;&gt; <a href="index.html">Ñîäåðæàíèå</a> / <a href="26.html">Ëèòåðàòóðíûé ýïîñ áîéöîâñêîãî êëóáà</a> / <a href="26_4.html">Îáî âñåì ïîíåìíîãó</a> / <a href="26_4_0.html">Âïå÷àòëåíèÿ íîâè÷êà îò "Áîéöîâñêîãî êëóáà"</a> / </p></td>
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<h3>Âïå÷àòëåíèÿ íîâè÷êà îò "Áîéöîâñêîãî êëóáà"</h3>
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<p><p>...<b>ñ</b>åãîäíÿ ïðèñëàëè ññûëêó íà ñàéò âèðòóàëüíûõ áî¸â. Òàê, çàõîäèì... õìì... îòëè÷íàÿ çàñòàâêà! Ðåãèñòðàöèÿ? Ëàäíî, ïðîéä¸ì ðåãèñòðàöèþ, äåëî íå íîâîå. Êñòàòè, ïî÷åìó òàêîé óïîð íà äîñòîâåðíîñòü äíÿ ðîæäåíèÿ? ×òî-òî íîâîå, îðèãèíàëüíî! Ëàäíî, ââîäèì, ÷òî òàì ó íàñ äàëüøå?</p>
<p>   ß - íîâàéñ. Ó ìåíÿ íåò äåíåã, íåò îðóæèÿ, è íåò îïûòà.<br />
Ó ìåíÿ åñòü ëèøü ðóáàøêà, ïîõîæàÿ íà ðóáèùå ìîíàõà - îòøåëüíèêà ñ ãîðû Àôîí, è æåëàíèå ÷òî-íèáóäü ïðåäïðèíÿòü. Òàê, ñïåðâà íåïëîõî áû ïðî÷åñòü êàêîé-íèáóäü ìàíóàë. Åñòü, âîò îí,"Áèáëèîòåêà áîéöîâñêîãî êëóáà". Îõ, à ÷òî æ òóò ïóñòîå-òî âñ¸?! Ëàäíî, ÷èòàþ âñ¸ äîñòóïíîå. Ïàðàìåòðû, ìîäèôèêàòîðû?! Õììì, äåéñòâèòåëüíî! Ëàäíî, ïàðàìåòðû ïîðîâíó, ïîòîì ïî õîäó ðàçáåð¸ìñÿ, à ÷òî òàì ó íàñ çà ìîäèôèêàòîðû? Î, òîïîðû! ëþáëþ. Áåðó òîïîðû. Èòàê, çà äåëî, â áîé!</p>
<p>...âîò òå ðàç, òðè áîÿ ïîäðÿä îòîäðàëè êàê ñèäîðîâà êîçëèêà! Õîðîøî, õîòü íå âñóõóþ! Ãì, ìîæåò, êàêàÿ-òî õèòðîñòü òóò åñòü îñîáåííàÿ? Ãëÿíó-êà  ÿ â ïàðàìåòðû ìîèõ îáèä÷èêîâ, äà è äðóãèõ íåïëîõî áû çàöåíèòü. Ìàìà ìîÿ ðîäíàÿ! ×òî, çäåñü âñÿ Óêðàèíà ïàñ¸òñÿ?! Íà êîãî íè ãëÿíü, âñå îòòóäà. Íó, ìíå ìîñêàëþ çäåñü îñîáî íå ñâåòèò, ïîïàë êàê êóð â îùèï. È âñ¸ æå - ïî÷åìó ìåíÿ ïîáåæäàþò? Õèòðîñòåé è óëîâîê âðîäå êàê áû è íåò, èñïîëüçóé ñâÿçêè "ãîëîâà - ïàõ", ëèáî "íîãè - ãðóäü", äà íàäåéñÿ íà âåçåíèå è óäà÷ó. À ýòî ÷òî?! Ãîñïîäè, ïðîòèâíèê ïðîáèë ìîé áëîê è õîðîøî ïðèëîæèë ïî çàùèù¸ííîìó ìåñòó! ß òîæå òàê õîòåë áû íàó÷èòüñÿ, êîãäà òàì ïàðàìåòðû óâåëè÷èâàòü ìíå ìîæíî áóäåò? Àãà, 20, 45 è 75 îïûòà. Èíòåðåñíî, ÷òî íàäî ïðèáàâèòü, Ñèëó, Ëîâêîñòü èëè Èíòóèöèþ? Íå ïèøóò, æàëü... Ñïðîñèòü, ÷òî ëè, â ÷àòå? Äà êòî òàì ìåíÿ ñëóøàòü áóäåò, ñïëîøü õîõ.., âèíîâàò, æèòåëè Óêðàèíû Óëüòèìó Îíëàéí îáñóæäàþò. À êòî çäåñü òàêè çà Ìîäåðàòîðà? Âîèíû Ñâåòà, õìì... Êîëîáîê? çíàêîìûé íèê, îí â Äåêëàéí íå èãðàåò? Ñïðîøó ïðè ñëó÷àå...</p>
<p>...òàê, ìíå ïðèñâîåí Ïåðâûé óðîâåíü! Ïóñòü íåóäà÷ âäâîå áîëüøå, ÷åì ïîáåä, íî âñ¸ æå. Ìîäèôèêàòîð ïóñêàåì íà "íîæè - êàñòåòû", ìíå äî òîïîðîâ êàê äî Êèòàÿ ïîëçêîì! Ýõ, çàðàíåå áû çíàòü ïðî òî ÷òî ïîëæèçíè ïðèäåòñÿ ìàõàòü ñòèëåòîì, ÿ áû... Ëàäíî, íå ñêóëèòü! ×òî òàì ó íàñ åù¸? êðåäèòû! Î÷åíü êñòàòè! Äîëîé ðóáàõó, äà¸øü Ðîáó çåìëè! Îïà, îäíîãî íå õâàòàåò, ñ ó÷¸òîì êóïëåííîãî íåäàâíî çà òð¸øêó Íîæà óáèéöû. Ýõ, ñ êîãî áû ïîëó÷èòü, ÷òîáû ðîáó ïðèêóïèòü? Ïîäðàòüñÿ, ÷òî ëè, íà äåíüãè ñ êåì-íèáóäü? Èíòåðåñíî, à åñòü çäåñü òîòàëèçàòîð èëè ÷¸ðíûé ðûíîê? Íåóäîáíî ñïðàøèâàòü â ëîá, çàáàíèòü îïÿòü æå ìîãóò. À ÿ íå õî÷ó îòñþäà óõîäèòü, ìíå çäåñü íðàâèòñÿ. Òàê, à ýòî ÷òî? "Âàøà ðóáàøêà ñêîðî îòäàñò áîãó äóøó, ðåìîíòèðóéòå å¸ ñðî÷íî, îäèí ðåìîíò ïî öåíå äâóõ, òðà-ëÿ-ëÿ..." À-àà, ðåêëàìà! Çàéäåì, ÷òî òàì íàì ïðåäëàãàþò? Îäèí êðåäèò çà ðåìîíò?! À ïîøëè âû âñå, ÿ âàì ÷òî, Ðîêôåëëåð èëè Áèëë Ãåéòñ?!<br />
Íó ÷òî òàì îïÿòü òàêîå? Êàêîé åù¸ ïðåäìåò ïîâðåæä¸í â ìî¸ì ðþêçàêå, òàì è íå áûëî-òî íè÷åãî. Ìèíóòî÷êó, à ãäå æå ìîÿ ðóáàõà? Îïàíüêè! ýòî áûëà íå ðåêëàìà, à ïðåäóïðåæäåíèå! Ôîðøìà÷îê-ñ......<br />
Ëàäíî, ïåðåæèâ¸ì êàê íèáóäü. À êòî ýòî ó íàñ â ÷àòå? Îëåã? ×òî òåáå, äðóæèùå? Òû íóë¸âûé, è òåáÿ âñå äåëàþò? Õå-õå, çíàêîìîå äåëî. Íó äàâàé ðåçàê ñâîé òåáå îäîëæó, âåðíåå ñäàì â ëèçèíã çà óìåðåííóþ öåíó. ...À òû êàê äóìàë, âñ¸ ñòîèò äåíåã, îñîáåííî â ýòîì ìèðå. Ëàäíî, ïîåõàëè... Êàêàÿ åù¸ êîìèññèÿ çà ïðîäàæó?! Íà ôèã å¸, ÿ òåáå åãî ïîäàðþ, à òû ìíå äåíþæêó! Êàê ýòî - ïîëó÷èë, íî íå ìîæåøü èì âîñïîëüçîâàòüñÿ?! Ëîâêîñòè íå õâàòàåò? Îáðàòíî ìíå íîæ! ...Ïî÷åìó íå ìîæåøü?! À äåíüãè, òîæå íåò? Ïîòîìó ÷òî íîâàéñ?! Íó òàê äîñòèãàé áûñòðåå ïåðâîãî óðîâíÿ, äà ðàñïëàòèñü ïî-õðèñòèàíñêè çà ìî¸ äîáðî! ...Êàê ýòî - íàäîåëî?! À ÿ êàê æå, òû æ ìåíÿ áåç øòàíîâ ïî ìèðó ïóñòèë, ...... ! ...Ñàì òàêîé! ...Ñàì òóäà ïîø¸ë! ... ! Òàê, ïîãîâîðèë ñ ïðèÿòåëåì, ìäà... Ëàäíî, ïåðåæèâó êàê-íèáóäü è ýòî. Êóëàêè æå íà ìåñòå, ñèë¸íêà åñòü, íîâàéñû, àó! Êàê ýòî - íîâè÷îê òîëüêî ñ íîâè÷êîì?<br />
   Âî, áëèí! Íó, ïîïðîáóþ òàê...  Äåñÿòü ïîðàæåíèé ïîäðÿä, ïîæàëóé, ìíîãîâàòî... Ëþäè, ìîæåò, ÿ äåëàþ ÷òî-òî íå òàê? Âûñòàâëÿþ ñâîþ çàÿâêó è æäó, êòî îòêëèêíåòñÿ. Íå òàê íàäî? Ëåçóò âñå èçáèòü ìåíÿ íà õàëÿâó? Íó, ëåçóò. Çàòî êàêîãî ÿ îðóæèÿ ïîâèäàë! Êàñòåòû, ìå÷è, íåäàâíî âîò ñ äóáèíîé ïîçíàêîìèëñÿ. Ïðàâäà, çàáèëè ìåíÿ åþ ðîâíî â ÷åòûðå ñ ïîëîâèíîé óäàðà... Äà ëàäíî, çàòî ñêîëüêèì áîéöàì ÿ îòêðûë äîðîãó íà âòîðîé óðîâåíü, àæ ñàìîìó ïðèÿòíî! Êñòàòè, ïîïàäàëèñü ìíå ñîïåðíèêè è âòîðîãî óðîâíÿ, âåðíåå âñåãî, ÿ èì ïîïàäàëñÿ. Ìîè ùåë÷êè èì ÷òî òàíêó äðîáèíà, ýõ, ïðèäåòñÿ âñ¸ æå ïðèîáðåñòè íîæè÷åê, à òî êàê òî ñêó÷íî ñòàëî æèòü. Ïðîùàé, ìîÿ íå êóïëåííàÿ ðîáà, íå ñêîðî ìû ïîâèäàåìñÿ... </p>
<p>...Ýõ, õîðîøî ìíå âìàçàë, äÿäÿ! Òðåòü çäîðîâüÿ êàê ñëèçíóëî, íà ïðîíîñ âëîìèë, ìîùíàÿ âåùèöà Óêóñ çìåè, äà åù¸ â óìåëûõ ðóêàõ! Ïîõâàëèì òîâàðèùà! Ý, à ãäå æå îí?  ÷àòå íåò... Ëþäè, ãäå ïðÿ÷åòñÿ ìîé âèçàâè? Ñêàæèòå õîòü ÷òî-íèáóäü! Îãî, ñðàçó îòâåòèëè! Êòî ìíå, òîðìîçó òóïîìó, âñ¸ ðàçæåâàë? Lex, âîèí Ñâåòà. Íó, ñïàñèáî òåáå, Lex, íå âñåì òóò ïîëîæèòü íà áåäíîãî èãðîêà. Íåò, ÿ òóò òî÷íî îñòàþñü. "Ó ìåíÿ â ïîäúåçäå òî÷íî òàê æå ñîñåäà îòìóäîõàëè!" - ñóïåð! Íó, ãäå òóò ó íàñ êíîïî÷êà "Ïîåäèíêè"?</p>
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